Certain cultural norms or one’s upbringing might influence how assertiveness is expressed — America, as a culture that values independence and individualism, may be a difficult one to navigate for many who have come from collectivist cultures (where assertiveness is not the cultural norm).
While one might think assertiveness is a negative, that’s not the case — being assertive is not about being the ‘dominant’ or aggressive figure but instead, it’s about having the confidence to ensure that one’s ideas and thoughts are shared effectively. Assertiveness can be learned and cultivated regardless of cultural background.
Here are eight tips that might help in fostering assertiveness at work:
- Self-awareness: Understand your thoughts, feelings, and needs. Knowing yourself better helps in communicating assertively. I find that pausing before I speak so that I can rehearse and craft my thoughts into words really helps me to deliver my ideas effectively.
- Practice communication skills: Work on clear and direct communication. Use “I” statements to express thoughts and feelings without blaming or accusing others.
- Set boundaries: Clearly define what you are comfortable with and what you are not. Learn to say “no” when necessary without feeling guilty.
- Confidence building: Focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Confidence supports assertiveness.
- Active listening: Listen carefully to others and acknowledge their perspectives.
- Assertiveness involves mutual respect in communication.
- Body language: Pay attention to your body language. Maintain eye contact, have an upright posture, and use gestures that reflect confidence. Eye contact is often difficult for those from collectivist cultures as it can be seen as aggressive; in the U.S., this is a very important part of engaging with others in conversation.
- Practice assertive responses: Role-play situations where you need to assert yourself. This can build confidence in real-life scenarios. Rehearsing what you say and role-playing with a friend or colleague will help you become more comfortable with unexpected situations and responses.
- Seek support and feedback: Discuss with mentors, friends, or colleagues for guidance and feedback on how to improve assertiveness. As you become more confident and move up the hierarchy at work, you will soon be ready to move onto new adventures in your career. Download the FrogHire.aiextension to support your job search: it will help you track the jobs you are interested in, log which ones you have applied to, and also help you filter by field/location/H1B sponsorship.
TLDR: Assertiveness does not mean being aggressive or overly dominant. It is about respectfully expressing your thoughts, needs, and boundaries while considering others’ perspectives—but making sure you are not always deferring to others, and making sure you are seen as a co-worker who will actively (often vocally) contribute. If being assertive is uncomfortable and new for you, be patient with yourself as you develop these skills! Change takes time and practice.